The Houston Verdict

Straight'nin' the Curves Since 2002

September 13, 2004

Houston County District Attorney Kelly Burke Unveils New Campaign Van

Charlotte Webb
Staff Writer

- Perry, GA - 

    Houston County District Attorney Kelly Burke unveiled his new "mobile re-election command center" today.  It features crudely spray painted decorations and numerous campaign signs affixed to the sides.  "I look at it like a mobile billboard," said Burke.  In addition to the signs, the van has a large loudspeaker attached to the roof that plays campaign slogans such as, a vote for Burke is a vote for progress, and Burke singing what he calls "technotrancekellyrap" in a continuous loop.  Burke says he intends to have the van parked in the courthouse parking lot every day up to the election.  On days he cannot drive it he says that his secretary will drive it for him.

    As of press time, Common Decency was unavailable for comment.

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As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site.  It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of  Houston County.  If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke.    This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain.