Been in Trouble With the Law Since the Day We Were Born
September 6, 2004
Houston County District Attorney Kelly Burke Reveals Top Ten Reasons Its Good to be the DA
Not by Kelly Burke
As the election draws nigh I find myself thinking of the reasons it's good to be the king, er DA. So here is my latest top ten list of why it's good to be the DA.
| 10. | If you get caught speeding you can always "badge" the cop. |
| 9. | Drug tests can't tell if you are drunk with power. |
| 8. | You can indict Santa Claus based on accusations by drunken cops. |
| 7. | Nobody is ambitious enough to actually pull your jury trial records from the clerk's office. |
| 6. | Free doughnuts when you're on a ride along with the Fat Boys |
| 5. | "Destroying" the drug evidence. |
| 4. | You actually can indict a ham sandwich. |
| 3. | Mini-me does all the dirty work for you. |
| 2. | You get to take your secretary along to seminars at the beach. |
| 1. | Soon my plan for world domination will be complete, bwahahaha. |
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As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site. It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of Houston County. If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke. This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain. |
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