The Houston Verdict

Houston County's Illegal Organ Since 2002

Week of April 20-26, 2003

DA Announces New Soul Policy

    The Houston County District Attorney announced today that, due to resistance to his waiver of post conviction remedies form, defendants will be required to sign new forms, conveying their immortal souls as part of any plea bargain. The Houston Verdict has obtained a copy of the new form from a source deep within the District Attorney's Office.  In his press release, Burke stated, "This sends a powerful message that Houston County will not tolerate criminal defendants walking around in possession of their immortal souls. The new forms will also cut down on the growing problem of defendants praying to God for help with their appeals or with future cases."  There has been no comment from the District Attorney's Office regarding what they intend to do with the souls once they are acquired.

    As of press time, Satan was unavailable for comment.

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As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site.  It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of  Houston County.  If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke.    This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain.