The Houston Verdict

Houston County's Illegal Organ Since 2002

Week of November 18-25, 2002

Houston Judicial Complex Invaded by Pirates

By Charlotte Webb
Staff Writer

Only days after its opening, pirates invaded and continue to occupy the Houston County Judicial Complex. Early this morning a band of pirates seized control of the Judicial Complex, replacing the county flag with the jolly roger. Attempts to retake the Judicial Complex by Houston County Sheriff''s Deputies have been foiled by cannon fire. The pirates' leader was quoted as saying, "Damn the Constitution, Arrrgghh!!"

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Constitution, Shmonstitution

or Why the Bill of Rights Should be Repealed

Not by Kelly Burke

Arrghh. Arrr. Arrrrgh. Landlubbers. Arrhh. Arrgghhh. Avast ye mateys. Urrghh. Arrrgg. Walk the plank. Urrggh. Aye. Arrrrghh. Criminals. Arrhhh. Arrrrghhh. Miranda Sucks. Urrrrrr. Errrr. Arrrrhhhhh. No such thing as intent. Arrrrrrghhhhhh. Shiver me timbers. Arrrrrrrrrrhhhhhh. Booty. Arrrrrhhh. Arrrggghhh. Blow the man down. Urrrrrrrrghhhhhh. Arrrrrrr. Keel haul. Arrrrggghhhh.

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As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site.  It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of  Houston County.  If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke.    This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain.