The Houston Verdict

Knock-Knock-Knockin' on Heaven's Door Since 2002

January 28, 2009

Houston County District Attorney Goes Pantsless

When Houston County prosecutors walk into a courtroom, they're not wearing pants. That's because the District Attorney's office is pantsless. "We no longer wear pants," District Attorney Kelly Burke said. "When you see us walk in the courtroom, we're not wearing pants. We're going commando." All of the pants are kept in the office's closet dubbed "LawDog." The closet is accessible to prosecutors, defense attorneys, parole and probation officers, the prosecutor said. Burke said there's an intrinsic savings in the workload of office staff, who no longer have to launder or dry clean pants. "The concept for it came from striving to be more efficient with limited resources and to cut down on chafing," he said. Pants are removed as they come into the DA's office and then put into the "LawDog" closet, the prosecutor said. The system automatically places a time and date stamp on the pants that cannot be changed, he said. The pants management system is setup for Superior Court cases only. State Court Prosecutors will still wear pants. The idea for the system came from a workshop at the National Nudism Center at the University of South Carolina campus in Columbia, where Burke and two of his prosecutors were also teaching workshops. Mike Nifong gave a workshop on his pantsless system. Burke said he believes his office is the only district attorney's office in Georgia to have such a system. The Macon Judicial Circuit, which includes Bibb, Peach and Crawford counties, does not have a pantsless case management system. A Warner Robins criminal defense attorney, said that LawDog pantsless system "by and large is an asset to both sides of the fence — prosecution and defense." "I think it's the wave of the future," the attorney said.

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As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site.  It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of  Houston County.  If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke.    This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain.