The Houston Verdict

Just Good Old Boys Since 2002

August 2, 2004

District Attorney Kelly Burke Berates Young School Children

Charlotte Webb
Staff Writer

- Perry, GA - 

    Bonaire Elementary School's Field Day went horribly awry Friday morning when District Attorney Kelly Burke arrived and began berating the children participating in the events.  Onlookers say Burke ran beside participants in the sack race yelling, "You are worthless and weak, my grandmother can hop faster than that you sacks of sh**.  Hop damn you, hop!"  All of the children present were reduced to tears and several teachers had to be physically restrained by Burke's entourage from beating the District Attorney to a bloody pulp. 

    For many this incident brought back unpleasant memories of Burke's last visit to Bonaire Elementary.  After Burke fled the scene an administrator was quoted as saying, "First he comes dressed as Satan and now this.  Has the man no shame?  Is there nothing that can be done?"

    For the second time in as many visits by Burke, HODAC Trauma Counselors were rushed to the scene.  The counselors remained at the school throughout the day Friday.

Home

As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site.  It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of  Houston County.  If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke.    This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain.