The Houston Verdict

Fugitives from Justice Since 2002

March 7, 2007

Kelly Burke Calls for Domestic Violence Reform

    Houston County District Attorney Kelly Burke announced his proposal for a new domestic violence policy at the State Capitol today.  Burke told legislators that far too many "big fat lying ho's" have perfectly innocent men charged with domestic violence.  Females have gotten far too uppity said Burke.  "First we did away with women as chattel, then we gave them the vote, now you can't pop them in the mouth when they get lippy."  Burke proposed that in the future domestic violence be punishable by a maximum fine of $5.00 and no jail time and that women be returned to their status as personal property.    "We must stop the feminist scourge before it is too late," said Burke.

    Burke said that this policy shift has absolutely, positively nothing whatsoever to do with recent allegations that he punched his ex-wife.

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As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site.  It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of  Houston County.  If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke.    This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain.