The Bane of Kelly's Existence Since 2002
Week of September 28, 2003
Probe Deadline Looms Warns DA Burke
DA Burke poses with newly installed guillotine.
Charlotte Webb Staff Writer
In a statement today, DA Kelly Burke warned the citizens of Houston County that the deadline for every citizen to have the Deep Probe loyalty device inserted is fast approaching. Anyone not possessing the probe after the deadline of October 31, 2003 will not be able to buy or sell in Houston County. Further, anyone without a probe that is apprehended by Loyalty Enforcement will be faced with the unpleasant choice of receiving the probe or being beheaded on the courthouse lawn. Said Burke, "This sends a powerful message that I will not tolerate conduct unbecoming!"
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As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site. It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of Houston County. If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke. This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain. |
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