The Houston Verdict
Cruisin for a Bruisin Since 2002

March 21, 2005

 Houston County District Attorney Kelly Burke Needs Your Help!

    Big Bird needs your help to come up with a new campaign slogan after focus groups determined that "Got Burke?" sucks out loud in the dark.  So, send us your best shot at Burke Diggler's next campaign slogan.  The submitter of the best campaign slogan will receive a genuine Depose Kelly Burke.com photo mosaic poster of the Bird in all his glory (see below).  As always, this contest is completely unfair and biased and could end at any time.

Entries:

If you don't vote for me, you'll be liable for defendants who tote Bibles.

Burke Bangs Butt!

If you don't vote for Kelly Burke, we'll kill this dog.

(we think someone owes National  Lampoon an apology. eds.)

If you vote for (insert Burke's opponent here) the terrorists win.

More jury trial losses than even Paul Howard!

Burke: Overpaid and Underbrained.

If you don't vote for Kelly Burke, you don't love Jesus.

A vote for Burke is a vote for progress.

Vote Burke, it can't get any worse.

Vote Burke or we'll send the law by your house.

Vote Burke, no courthouse rampages on his watch.

If you don't tell ten people to vote for Kelly Burke in the next ten minutes, you will break the chain and will have ten years of bad luck.

Kelly, Kelly, he's our man! (even if he has a girl's name)
If you don't vote for him, you must be a liberal pro-choice sleazebag communist democrat.
Ok, so it doesn't rhyme; but you get the point.

Burke, Burke, he's our man...if he can't do it...he'll hire someone else who can't do it either.

Norps for Burke!

VOTE BURKE..........He speaka da English!

VOTE BURKE.....He lives a double life too!

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As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site.  It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of  Houston County.  If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke.    This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain.