Burke Plissken on his way to Saturday's press conference accompanied by his guards.
Houston County's Illegal Organ Since 2002
Week of May 18th, 2003
DA Burke Plissken
Announces Jail Changes
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Burke Plissken on his way to Saturday's press conference accompanied by his guards. |
DA Burke Plissken announced early Saturday that due to the recent EPA shutdown of the Houston County Detention Center's "showers," drastic changes would have to be made in Houston County's jail facilities. According to "Snake," as DA Plissken prefers to be called, construction will begin immediately to completely surround Centerville with an electrified wall thirty feet in height. Once construction is complete, the entire city will serve as the new Houston County Detention Center. Only the perimeter will be guarded thereby saving money on staff. Additional savings should be realized as inmates that are awaiting trial begin killing each other off in the inevitable anarchy, thereby saving the county the expense of a trial. The inmates will have to fend for themselves on a day to day basis and subsist on monthly airdrops of food into the mall parking lot. In his Saturday morning press conference, Snake stated, "the start of construction of the new Detention Center sends a powerful message that all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."
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As you probably know, this site is a little thing we like to call satire, it is not the Houston Home Journal nor is it District Attorney Kelly Burke's site. It is however dedicated to illustrating the surreal nature of life with King Kelly, DA of Houston County. If you need this footnote to tell you this, you either rode the short bus to school or you are Kelly Burke. This site was created on a private computer in a private home, on a private internet connection, to a privately owned domain. |
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